Art4ru is not 4me
Take your trendy girlfriend by the hand and show her the wonderful and frightening world of modern Russian art. There’s nothing more to this than that, I guess.
Now, art4ru’s website is full of promises: free booze, semechki (oh, the gopnik irony!) and skateboards. More than that, they encourage visitors to write on the toilet walls and dance to some extra-rare music. Seriously, who cares about art when you’ve got all that.
After paying 100 rubles and showing my fake studencheskiy I was granted with a couple of stickers to rate the pieces I liked and disliked. Unfortunately, the most ridiculous ones are so elevated there’s no chance of sticking your criticism up above. Modern art is supposed to be repelling or shocking, out here it’s plain boring. The most publicly accused piece was a photo of semi-naked girls at a funeral. Whatever. I found some paintings pretty decent and worth looking at, but the guys at the gallery seemed pretty focused on the other side of the amazing project.
Yet, it appeared to be a big fat lie. First of all, I found no signs of free booze or even semechki. When I asked the fine lady at the entrance, she said the drinks might as well appear closer to midnight, while the sunflower seeds got banned at all. I did find a single skateboard lying in the corner, covered in dust, completely ignored and abandoned. How about putting some other things no one would care about in an art gallery: a gas turbine engine or a bag of used condoms. That would be pretty hip, huh.
The DJ was supposed to come “a bit later”, so I decided to check out the toilet walls. Indeed, they were severely damaged by pathetic attempts at art or ironic writings you can witness in any other Russian public restroom. A huge “we fucked here” signed by some male and female names indicated that artfags are no strangers to breeding. I was sure to wash my hands twice.
Seeing no signs of any DJ coming, I left the scene completely disappointed to drink myself away in a less artsy environment. Art4ru offers some kind of halyava gift if you manage to “find a piece that has no artistic or cultural value”. I must say I was at loss and I couldn’t even make a wild guess. Good luck to those who decide to take on the Art4ru challenge!
For eXile magazine.